mommy blues

Let me say 1st I LOVE being a mommy. I am 100% inlove & aware of the blessing of having my son. It gives me such a sense of accomplishment & pride to see my work & effort make this little guy grow into a happy, healthy, alert, humorous, smart boy. I can easily see how he learns from me, thrives from me. There is so much more I have to offer the world, myself & others than being a mom to this boy. However, I do feel being his mom is probably he most important role i will ever play in this life & I am honored & humbled to have received the part!
However, as i said. I am not simply a mommy. I was not a mommy before him . I was many things that I have now forgotten or find it challenging to be again.
I understand it's his age right now. He is a toddler. Like a wild animal, not potty trained & also in a crazy way like a foreigner who doesn't speak your language. He is like a sweet little rebel who in his purest form knows no rules! no boundaries!. Yes, he understand the word "no" & "no touch" but that usually sends him into a meltdown of screams that seem to reach a range that can deafen a person ( or wish they were deaf!)
Ok Ok, all jokes aside..it's hard! I know it's not breaking news. Its been said many times before me & it will be said many times after me that being a mom is very hard! I can't really complain. He is a good boy for real! His difficulties are normal & come from a pure, curious place. Basically, it's just me.
While my husband does work very hard & long hours & is also a hands on parent when he is here.. It's just not the same. His freedom is different than mine in that he has it to more of an extent.
I can't even to to the bathroom w/o either bringing him with me or having a "babble to word" conversation just to let him know I'm near by & for me to know where he is & that he is ok!
Silence is never a good thing with a toddler.!!!
So yeah, ya don't get bathroom breaks, sick days or even lunch or dinner b/c you are always working & / or on call!
I create ideas I'd love to get done or do that day & more often than not, his schedule conflicts.
So how is it by the end of a long day of diaper changing, clothing changes due to spit ups, drooling, messes & feedings & feedings * more diaper changes & playtime, reading time, nap times, melt downs, chasing him off a couch before he jumps off it again, chasing him to get a bottle of detergent from him or a pen he found from where who knows? Doing the laundry, dishes & finding time to take a call, make a call,balance the checkbook, do the bills, eat something & shower, get dinner ready for the husband, get the baby ready for bed.. how is it I feel a sense I did nothing all day?
again, i LOVE being a mom. More than anything else i am. Just wish I had the time to do other things.